Last Saturday I visited the famous Temple of Literature with Pip and her sister. It was their last day in Hanoi. Built in 1070 (can you believe it?!), the Temple of Literature is the oldest temple in Vietnam. The sights within the compound walls include rows of stone tablets espousing Confuscian wisdom in ancient Chinese script, each supported by its own huge carved stone tortoise; lotus ponds; enormous prayer drums and iron bells; a wooden stage for traditional Vietnamese musical concerts; glass display cases holding temple robes worn by philosophers in 1457; wooden stilt houses; and iron pots of incense sticks next to shrines of long-forgotten scholars. All of this under the shade of century-old bhodi trees! It was a beautiful day.
Feeling famished and thirsty, we ate Pho for lunch at a tiny plastic table in a nearby cafe. We chatted with the young ‘waiter’ of 15 years who sat with us in his tank top and short-shorts. We stayed longer than we intended, because we felt it was our duty to dissuade him from his “one true dream”, which was to find an American tourist in Hanoi who would marry him and take him to the States to work as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant.
I said goodbye to Pip and continued on my own in search of the Hoa Binh Hotel, which is famous in Hanoi for its inexpensive and luxurious massage. In the process I became (pleasantly) lost, stumbled upon the Vietnam Women’s Museum and decided to go in.
The museum was more than a little creepy because of the dusty, mall-style mannequins in misshapen wigs which they use to model traditional dresses from the different regions of Vietnam, not to mention the disturbing depth of the Communist propaganda about the Vietnam war. Apparently, I was also the museum’s only visitor that day, so I was all alone. I’m pretty sure those mannequins were watching me the entire time. The most interesting part of the museum was the exhibit called “Revolutionary Women Imprisoned by the Enemy During the American War”, which had distressing photographs of women who had been raped, tortured and locked up in tiger cages.
So far it had been a very history-heavy day. By this time, I needed a massage more than ever!
Back at my hotel, the manager, Miss Mai, gave me a recommendation for a massage center that was only a few blocks away. Miss Mai is an authoritative 40-something woman who wears high heels, rhinestones, bright fuschia lipstick, and tight clothing. She looks like someone who would have run a very successful opium den back in 1940. Her massage recommendation seemed legitimate because she claimed that it was a government-run school of traditional medicine. So off I went, eagerly in search of muscle-pummeling and relaxation. I was not even disappointed by the monsoon-style downpour which ensued on my walk to the massage center, nor the mud saturated in diesel fuel in which I slipped and splattered onto my freshly-laundered pants. When I reached the appropriate intersection, I boldly asked the bewildered lady at the ginseng root booth to point me in the right direction.
The massage center was housed in a tightly guarded Vietnamese government compound, complete with machine-gun-toting men in military uniform who eyed me very suspiciously as I walked past. The cost was 80,000 dong (about US$ 5.30) for 60 minutes, and the receptionist asked me whether I wanted a man or a woman. I asked for a woman, of course, and this turned out to be definitely the correct answer.
The massage was not at all like the ones I had enjoyed in Thailand and Laos all summer. This fact became immediately apparent when I saw my masseuse, who was dressed in a mini-skirt and high heels. I really hoped I would not receive more than just a massage…
What I found especially strange was that I had to remove all my clothing (yes, ALL) and that the room included a uncurtained window which looked out into the hallway where people walked past. During the massage, a man even came into the room with an armload of towels. Lying on the table, I decided I would just turn my head toward the wall and close my eyes, pretending to myself that this was their normal procedure and there was no possibility of people looking in the room. It was all I could do to halfway relax. The massage itself was also very strange and involved a lot of limb manipulation, butt slapping and other peculiar techniques. All in all, it was a good massage, but I must say that I was glad when the doorbell sounded and voice on the intercom indicated that our 60 minutes was up. I never wanted to put my clothes on so badly!
Stay tuned for more adventures when our hero returns from the remote villages of the north central highlands…

