Crystal's magical day in England

A 9-hour layover at London Heathrow yesterday meant I got to use a day room at the Heathrow Hilton to take a quick shower before heading out for adventures.  

My first London cab ride took me to the the little town of Windsor — normally about 40 minutes’ drive outside of London. I could barely understand the cab driver’s thick accent, but I managed to communicate that I wanted to get to Windsor Castle by 11 am to see the changing of the guard. He said he knew some “shortcuts” and promised to get me there on time. The little navy blue snub-nosed taxi raced across town and delivered me in Windsor in an impressive 25 minutes, just in time to run up to the castle and see the soldiers do their thing.

I couldn’t take the grin off my face standing there in the sunshine with all the other sightseers. My shoulders were aching from holding the camera at odd angles to shoot pictures over the heads of Russian tourists, and I was hungry, jetlagged and badly needed to pee, but I didn’t care: what happened next was too cool. The soldiers exited the castle gate and came toward us in two rows, marching stiffly with oddly fast clip, slapping their shiny black shoes down on the cobblestone in perfect unison to the drum and fife. They wore dark grey uniforms, white gloves and the classic puffy, tall black hats with the chin strap. They carried bayonets!

Don’t know whether it was the combination of sleep deprivation and fresh air or what, but everything in Windsor seemed delightful. I thoroughly enjoyed finally getting to use the “loo” at a cute bistro on Peascod St.  I also had a bowl of minestrone and some crusty bread there. (I ate lightly so as not to ruin my appetite for all the other awesome foods I wanted to try later!)

The weather was sunny but about 50 degrees, and I was (unfortunately) dressed for 90 degree African weather, so I had to purchase a thermal undershirt for better layering and some wool gloves. Window shopping at the High Street shops and visiting Marks & Spencer was a treat! I loved it that everyone called me “Madame”. The ultra thick, 1 pound British coins were a joy to hold and flip between my fingers.

I’m very envious of all the great walking paths I saw in the London suburbs I passed through. Seems like every town has a “Long Walk” or a “(Such-and-such) path” for pedestrians and cyclists that is both charming and lined with trees. The ones in Windsor were chock full of Englishpeople getting their daily exercise. I had trouble deciding whether to spend the next couple of hours on the “Long Walk” of Windsor – a 3-mile path to a statue of King George III on a hill - OR touring Windsor castle.

Ultimately I chose the castle tour, and this was truly a magical experience. The palace is enormous and breathtaking. I was completely in awe of its age. I think it is the oldest structure I’ve ever been in — over 900 years old!

My three favorite things were:

• The huge collection of armor and weaponry. Can you say CRAZY AWESOME HALBERDS?!?
• The doorknobs. I know this sounds silly, but the doorknobs and keyholes on these enormous old doors are amazing — many of the knobs themselves are in the shape of intricately carved, coiled up dragons!! I imagined maids and butlers keeping heavy, impressive palace keys of iron in their pockets and moving stealthily through the halls with mischevious intent. Also, there simply must be secret passageways within the castle walls. I started to imagine that I could discern subtle differences in the stonework behind the tapestries… I got so excited about all of this I spent much of the tour choking back the urge to half laugh/half cry out. Sheer thrill, I tell you.
• The best thing of all was learning about the Knights of the Garter. I had no idea!! Have you people heard of this?!?! I’m completely obsessed now. The Knights of the Garter are a chivalric order of the monarchy established in 1348 under King Edward III, but it continues today. Whoever is king is the “Sovereign of the Garter”. All kinds of ceremony and cool stuff goes along with being a Knight — you have to get sworn in and promise to uphold honor, you get your own coat of arms in St. George’s Hall (which one of the huge amazing rooms in the palace big enough to fly a small plane in), you attend feasts and ceremonies, you get to wear all sorts of special stuff like a velvet mantle (cloak) embroidered with the heraldic shield of St. George’s Cross, etc etc. I want to be a Lady of the Garter SO BAD.

A very nice castle steward told me more about the large old book in a glass case about which I had become enraptured. The book was written in Latin in 1358 (!!) and is called The Black Book of the Garter. It is complete with gorgeous handpainted illustrations and colorful versal letters. (Versal letters — also a new term I just learned!)

When the castle tour came to an end, I was famished. So my next stop was a really old Windsor shop which sold award-winning Cornish pasties. Hell yeah. I munched one as I walked down Church St., all the way to the old Two Brewers Pub. Here I downed a pint before jumping on a local bus back to the airport.

Needless to say, I was very sad to be leaving Windsor.

Jetlag overcame me on the bus and I fell asleep, later waking to find it raining. I leaned against the glass and watched a brown horse running across a field. At various points, packs of British teenagers wearing private school uniforms got on and off the bus. It was so fun to listen to their hilarious conversations - I felt as though I was in a Harry Potter movie!

We drove past a contractor’s repair van, and the following was painted in huge letters on its back door:

SERVICES OFFERED:

• Winches
• Squeeze-offs
• Butt-fusion
• Cats & Gennys

Maybe someone can look those up and tell me what they mean…?

Yesterday was a beautiful day with memories I wouldn’t trade for anything! Funny photos are coming at some point.

Jolly good! God Save the Queen! Good day, then!